Jun 24, 2021
Clay Smeltzer is sometimes asked why he coaches men. The answer? He knows what it’s like to not have a purpose. For much of his life, he had “no d*** clue” who he was and was “faking everybody out” — himself the most.
“I’ve been through the s***storm of sitting here on my couch, having a panic attack, watching a TV show and going, ‘Is this really what my life is about?’” He says. “Am I going to wake up every day filled with anxiety and this shame cycle that says, ‘If I can’t take care of myself, and I can’t fix myself, how the h*** am I going to fix anything else?’”
As a husband, as a father and as a professional, Clay felt he was constantly letting everyone down — this, when he’d made all the “right” choices. He’d gone to college. Found a steady career path as a teacher. Got married. Had kids. Bought a house. And still, he felt “worthless.”
Eventually, Clay was able to confront the major role anxiety was playing in his life. That’s when things started to change for the better. Today, he helps other men identify and confront the negative thought patterns, fears, and trauma that are keeping them stuck in destructive patterns without a purpose. On this episode of True North Man, Paul and Clay tell each other their stories of forging a foundational identity after years of living without one.
What You’ll Learn
Favorite Quote:
“Men get stuck in these same shame cycles. We get stuck in this negativity about ourselves. We get stuck in the expectation that ‘I have to be this, when my reality is here.’ And having a difference between your expectation and your reality causes this frustration. And then we get into the monotonous cycle; we wake up Mondays, we go to work until Friday, we live for the weekend, and we do the same s*** all over again… and we’re sitting there going, ‘F***. What’s going on?’”
— Clay Smeltzer
Connect With Clay:
How To Get Involved:
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